cutting the threads

MOVE

2006-05-22T10:52:00.000+08:00

in the interest of all things, im gna move t another site fer maybe a week or a month or sth. PM me on friendster or msn me or email me. all the necessary contact information can be found on the right ===>

this blog has served me through quite a bit. 3 relationships, 2 years, 1 heartbreak and 1 heartbroken.

so byebye fer now i guess.

2006-05-20T23:25:00.000+08:00

the words form, booklike into sentences phrased with hopeful past tense, in my head. hopeful in that i look at it from a disconcerted distance. they wont ever be written out, because ive got terrible short term memory. yup, bow down and call me a goldfish.

i broke my one meal a day diet, and felt terrible. treated myself to dinner at coffee club at rendevouz hotel because i thought i needed it. ah fuck, suddenly the words to make this poetic even jst tactful dont come.

i asked aloy if he knew tht being alone makes your problems engulf, threaten to consume you. but in company they seem to fade into background noise. im going to concentrate on solid things; fingers, legs, smiles, the spaces between words and the breaks between paragraphs.

tomorrow, the musky scent of warm attraction, grass, and wine will enchant. and devastate.

self loafing. yes, loafing

2006-05-19T03:05:00.000+08:00

wot reasons do i have to give?
the reasons that i gave seem suffice in my own head. in lazy longing pursuit for my own happiness, it gives the semblance of selfishness enough. i jst want to be happy. and i wasnt.
the feelings changed. wot can you do with feelings? you asked me t wait and see if it comes back, but i know they wldnt. not like that. you asked me t give you a second chance right there, on the spot. but when i said if it happens later on, it happens, and i cldnt give you the chance now, you told me that you wld never date me again. that im not a good girlfriend. fuck, i know that im not. i broke up w you so you didnt have t suffer even longer. and that i didnt have t break your heart slowly.

it wasnt a choice for the right, but there wasnt one this case. more like the lesser evil.

i dont need t be judged, but its still gg t happen.

let me ask YOU, yes whoever is reading this, YOU. are you happy? and how do you deal with it if the answer is of the negative? anyway and everyway is not smart. so, am i smart abt this joyless procession of life? no.

oh good god, this is so FUCKING depressing. how fucking ironic.

mack the knife

2006-05-16T00:50:00.000+08:00

hungry and tired.

and all the reasons put force, are but sugar tissue at this very point, heretofore my trojan horse.

& we hemmed, hawwed, loved, lost (something of ourselves along the way).
so wot can be left if the guise is gone? it cld be a lilly or a dafa-dafa-dilly. but i think none of the above.

dont interrupt me when im connecting with you on spider string, lover.

Adolescence, then, is a curious station on the route from ignorant communion to our ultimate isolation, the place where words and silences reveal themselves to be meaningful and yet where, too young to acknowledge that we cannot gauge their meaning, we imagine it for ourselves and behave as if we understood. Only with the passage of years, wearied, do we resort to asking. With the inadequacy of asking and the inadequacy of replies comes the realization that what we thought we understood bears no relation to what existsm the way, seeing the film of a book we have read, we are aghast to find the hereine a strapping blonde when we pictured her all these years a small brunette; and her house, which we envisaged so clearly and quaintly on the edge of a purple moor, a vast unfamiliar pile of rubble with all its rooms out of order. - The Last Life, Claire Messud.

of pontzs and clowns

2006-05-12T14:21:00.000+08:00

as you can see from the difference in present date (above) and the date of the last entry (below), i havent blogged fer quite a bit. whether it was lack of time or inspiration or well lack of interesting things t talk about, i jst didnt and cldnt bring myself to enter "publish post".

even now after so long and so many things have happened,its not the lack of things to say, but rather the lack of words to say them with.

have been reading The Last Life by Claire Messud.

its pretty good, but ive been her pimp, pushing and leaving her in various men('s bags).

clubbed butterfactory wed and gotham thurs. spsd t be either at coco (ashley's)or at mdm wongs (alex's) tonight but in all actuality, id rather see singapore gaga. my ribs cant take much more dancing.

and whoever said year three was a breeze ought to be shot. cos its not. 5 capsules for radio heatwave, and one fer live DAB broadcast, and half an hr drama/docu. and tts jst fer radio. imc sucks like a slut and photojourn seems cool but the makeup lessons might screw my "working" schedule up.

my birthday was aite, spent in good company. terence (the darling) got me a holga!

and these are the kind of images it takes.

gallant males take my cake. im glad i have a few such people in my life. [: uh huh, thats you!

uh huh this my shit. yea tts abt it fer now.

upskirt and downblouse

2006-04-26T00:16:00.000+08:00

its smacks off goodbye once again, except this was a close ended (). so i know. yea i goddamn know. and i dun get why im so emotional abt this, cos its not like the relationship meant tt much t me. i guess its the demise of a friendship, and the forced lack of respect for wot we've been through, for&with each other.

im so sorry. i guess this is ______. (insert appropriate word)

hello you,
its me, adriana. i like cats and most animals really. well, the furry ones at very least. nice to meet you. would you like to take me to naples? or perhaps fly me to the moon if you could afford the airfare, for i simply cldnt.

and i think tt it blinks crimson. you know? HAHA, the pen tt turns into a flashlight.
im so godfuckingfarsakenly tired.

MAKE ME LAUGH DAMMIT. i need some deep thought, or read some so i cld perhaps absorb some of it. it might shed like cat hair on a cardigan. but it all just depresses me. the words that appear dont take physical form. who know, it might be more truthful.

the bird brained bastards

2006-04-23T23:47:00.000+08:00

heyyyy,hoooo,heyyyyy,hoooo.
well, i had fun last night at coco (surprisingly! cos i dun have many good coco experiences). and everyone got pretty high at some point of the night and mad moves and smooth grooves got us even higher. coco ended at 3 and we decided to walk to eat. ended up at butterfactory for a while (free!)and im a big sorry t frank fer saying his hair wasnt nice!

saw ashley yesterday who i havent seen in soooo long. shes looking damnnnn hot! wooot! and everyone looked good yesterday, maybe it was me or maybe it was jst tt im so fat tt everyone jst looks better t me than me. gwen looked great, and she liked my hair and i liked hers more. sarah lost weight and she looked hotttt. oh and of course kesh was on fire. btw, kudos for the great party kesh! and omgOMG this is big news. CASANDRA WONG SHA NA msged me (FIRST) and i WENT OUT with her. LIKE WTF SIA!

ad omfgomfg we're year three darlings! WOW! i can still remember orientation. gosh! and samsam and i OGLing fer the newcomers. damn tts fast.

well tomorrow its IS, so tts no biggie cos its so damn slack and besides tt i have ethan, cas, zat, n terence in both classes and jerome in one.

:D fucking A. (i still dun wna go back, im jst trying t be happy. although photojourn sounds cool. eurghhhhh schhhhooool.)

>.<

2006-04-16T18:17:00.000+08:00

im spsd t make a stand on something, but i dont think i will in case a whole new hullaballu springs from it. i just wna say, if you guys are reading this, that i dont appreciate you talking abt me anymore cos guess wot, if you havent noticed it, IM OUT OF YOUR LIVES. so get over yourselves please. as KC said "ppl jst need something t bitch about."

photos from my 6monthanniversary day, 14th april, and out with sue on 15th april.
anniversary was amazing, 14th april was spacey, and 15 was filled w local alternative rock. sue dragged me t see 7tilldawn and although they all look like geeks (not the cool type) theyre pretty aite. guitarist was pro, and HAHA look at the video and laugh at the jap bassist in red. HES DAMN FUNNY LA. he was wearing a fishing hat and bounces like he really is fishing. cb, hahaha pwnage. oh and i met jy and kc at esplanade and we had dinner. sue and i then met zhenyi at city hall. [: good day.

im so cute in gunbound, the lil boys penises wag fer me.

perfect blue

2006-04-14T03:18:00.000+08:00

i took this from a random blog gotten through random clicking. Turn on shuffle mode on yer music player, click and answer w song title and artist. answer the questions honestly!

How does the world see me?
You Really Got Me- Overheads (so im pretty damn mystified)

Will I have a happy life?
This Is Not A Love Song- The Juliana Theory (omfg, im gna live and die alone)

What do people really think of me?
You're A God- Vertical Horizon (HAHA i dont think so)

Do people secretly lust after me?
I Fought The Law- Sex Pistols (well at least the group is the sex pistols. im smokiing. heh)

How can I make myself happy?
Storm And Stress- Bloc Party (HAHA so unapt really)

What should I do with my life?
The More I See You- Michael Buble

Will I ever have children?
Happy Town- East River Pipe (omg im gna have a TOWN. but im happy, meaning.. i have money?)

What is some good advice for me?
One By One All Day- The Shins (yupyupppp!)

What is my current theme song?
You Went Away- Teagan and Sara (]:)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Say Hello To The Angels- Interpol (haha, true)

What song will play at my funeral?
Pitter Patter Goes My Heart- Broken Social Scene (HAHAHA a very wrong song t play fer obvious reasons.)

What type of men/women do you like?
One Eighty By Summer- Taking Back Sunday

What is my day going to be like?
Enchantment- Corrine Bailey Rae ([: how nice)

Why am I here?
Trouble Sleeping- Corrine Bailey Rae (hey! same artist. but yea, its 330am so i believe tt)

What will people remember me for?
Octopus Garden- The Beatles (hehehe!)

What song will be stuck in my head tomorrow?
New American Classic- TBS

What will this year be all about?
Stupid Cupid- Mandy Moore (woah...)

okay besides tt stuff, tomorrow ill be out w lea and cherylvoo which is greatgreatgreat! sat is clubbing at liquid fer kesh's bday w ash and lot too! [: sunday tentitvely w kelvin before he heads back t camp and monday w lea, kels, and grace. alot o ppl i havent seen fer a long time! :D

Perfect Blue is some scary anime stuff. psychothriller if i hazarded a guess at placing it in a category.

yea and photos will be uploaded soon when i can be bothered t make the distance between my room and the living room count.

tick tock

2006-04-12T18:21:00.000+08:00

ive decided t let this thing with you go. cos i dun think its doing both of us any good.
tt was so year one, and im so over it. decent is as decent does, and yer still a human (though ive said otherwise repeatedly). i wont ever like you, but hell, ill still be civil.

anyway, yesterday was our 6th month anniv. not tt long, but it feels even shorter. [: a beautiful dinner, a good walk, and a meaningful talk which ended at 530. abhorsen was finished at 8 and sleep came slow.
before tt was lunch and a movie w kelly anne tay who i have not seen since.. err 2 years ago? or some absurd amount of time like tt. it was good and sweet. ooo lea is coming back tomorrow which greatly excites me, and i wont be a bitch and not meet her. [: o bar fer us yea darling.

btw, Garth Nix is a goddamned genius. and if you havent heard/read the Old Kingdom series comprising of Sabriel, Lirael, and Abhorsen then go and get it. seriously.

oh, and ive decided t go get fit. i ran yesterday (i woke up at 1130!!!) and now im gg t terence's condo gym t do weight work. uh huh, my MUSCLES are ACHING. :D

2006-04-10T04:34:00.000+08:00

LOL i think im inspired by some very unlikely individuals. [: so im pretty darn happy now. or maybe its jst the hormones cos im bleeding from the bottom now.

[: lychee martini's, happy indiepop, my warm cat (who we showered today!), old friends, new haircuts, old new clothes, good books, the fact tt school is (still/merely) 2 weeks away.

wheeee and i think my new favorite word is "tangible". and my new favorite activity is napping. im becoming a cat. meow and ill purr.

yesterday was good, bad, wet, and warm and cuddly in succession. when i get the (very disturbing) photos ill post them. or maybe not. cos cas might come out looking like a slut since she kissed us ALL and tongued most o us. but hey, we're friends so all's good. wot are friends fer aeii! but jst fer the record, i didnt kiss no other boys beside my own.

oh and youtube is my new form of entertainment!

imitation inimical innoculation

2006-04-08T04:14:00.000+08:00

warning: self-loathing, self-pity, and self-degredation ahead. click on x t exit.

god, i miss dance so much tht the pain is almost phsyical. well, partly so because sitting here, with my knees folded up against my chest i can feel the veryvery tangible, physical roll of fat. the fat tt wasnt there a while ago.

ashley showed my a video of a russian and spanish dancer doing a pad de deux of don quixote on youtube . and it sparked a heartfelt discussion in which i knew that there were no real reasons why i shldnt go back, besides the fear of manymany things.

browsing friendster like i sporadically do ended in a gnawing longing inside with a lone tear bearing many sorrows.

i told ashley "its different. you're different." its true. wots the use of talent without the will. i envy them for that. and its even sadder that i know, i dont have enough drive to even think about it.

i feel the dance. i know how freeing it was (how ironic i quit for the physical binding instead of the metaphysical realm it elevated me t). and i remember, remember how good it was, how good i was. how good i could have been. it would and should sound and look arrogant, but i knew. it was something no one cld have taken. when dancers say "my life is dance" i pass it off as exaggeration or at the very least naivety, so i wont say its my life. but its part of me, somewhere deep.

all that shit, all that fucking SHIT. i know this is something i will regret.

theres nothing else for me. and its god damned stupid cos so many ppl dont know their gifts while mine gleams and dulls cos i dont have the ambition.

so maybe ill go back.

From March To April

2006-04-05T15:53:00.000+08:00

its kinnda dark, but thats aloy and ethan trying t inhale alot. non-(regular)smokers united!

we're trying t inhale as long as we can. its like the insecticide fogging thing. kinnda tastes like it too.

haha zatzat taken by me. the rest were taking by zat who's a camera pimp (he aint whoring himself)

well that was april and here's the best of 03'06. and yea its cb lagging cos i dun have photoshop/fireworks anymore so yea its being resized here. oh dear.

the wearisome wanderer

2006-04-03T23:54:00.000+08:00

yesyes, i know its terribly done but hey its MS paint. Don't ask.

white to black and i guess it cant hurt.

do my actions define me, i think not. rather, how i feel about those actions. but the discussion is like a roundrobin with only one person at the helm.

and i dont know, i dont know, i dont really think so.

EEEgads!

2006-03-31T03:40:00.000+08:00

someone tell me their in 305 fer MASINA and Media Law. good god, someone please say tt they are.

right fielding

2006-03-25T05:41:00.000+08:00

to a motley crew;

the peekaboopictures that are given & taken only leave me feeling estranged (not enlightened!).
the connections that are fostered & frayed are most evident in the photos im no longer in.

the same as i love you, you'll always love me too. this love isnt good unless its me & you. stick your hands inside my pockets, keep them warm while im still here. tell me this love hasnt changed me, hasnt changed me at all.

cheers to the squid boy.

Tango that fucking mango

2006-03-22T01:22:00.000+08:00

im moodswinging so much i could win "Ballroom Bootcamp". half an hr ago i was on top o the world. and right now, i feel so god damned fucked abt myself tt i wna jst hide in a hole and smoke my life away. i thought smoking was spsd t make you lose weight? anyway, here's my hair since sam complained tt the other pic was too blurry and all. dont think i could share anymore before the level o profanity gets upsetting.
memories were brought up that evoked, not nostalgia, but a sickly sense of nervousness that is all too familiar. but, like fuck that.
but bridges are built were there were (practically) none before. and tts something t celebrate.
when I said that you were my drug, I forgot that the drugs dont work, yea they just make you hurt.but I know I'll see your face again.

barby

2006-03-16T16:25:00.000+08:00

oh i cut my hair. like SHORT. heh. and got new specs.

the pictures are badly resized cos some are huge and some are not, but i dun really give much o a damn. anyway i dno wot t take out cos all are precious. it was the first time in a long time that we were all tgt. and it surprises me that we didnt drink. (but then again, maybe not)

the affairs of the dead

2006-03-12T13:21:00.000+08:00

they strike me as rather like a ----
and on a totally seperate tangent; i HATE pseudo i-dno-wots, who say "fuck this , fuck that" when the point they feel the need to put across is so obvious, its a given.

Intellectual Banter

2006-03-04T02:41:00.000+08:00

In my monologues, I swear. And I also talk in english.

my boyfriend says to stop bashing myself up, but im feeling disctinctly... stupid now. i feel unpretty, untalented, unskinny, unsmart, unrich, unlucky, unhappy, unsatisfied.

and this is all coming from the noob who got "Unstoppable" at DoTA today, using Rikimaru. and the lastminutestudierferexams who wrote 2 fucking booklets, 26 pages, when normal ppl write 10 or under.I fall asleep during my consious conscience discourse. it sounds so much like my mother's voice. i need an exorcist.

addicted to aqueduct.

PERAAAK

2006-02-27T00:29:00.000+08:00

i dun wna fucking study fer fucking PR and Comissues. i jst wna play DoTA.

had a fight with a friend and it was scary, in a captial letters, acronym kinnda way. talked abt the clique with a few members of, and although the level of understanding, degree of proximity, and altitude of tolerance differs, i (kinndasorta) really like them alot.

and clubbing is such a bore, i prefer DoTA to it. so here's a marrying of the two of three addictions in my life, best served chilled.
cheebye, look at our damage sial. PWNAGE

the lan of the free

2006-02-21T14:58:00.000+08:00

you know wot rocks more than having a LAN shop in school? Besides being the only ones in there; walking out after 3 hours of non-stop (not counting smoke break) gaming without having to pay. now THAT is so off the richter scale.

on saturday i thought i lost my phone and i super du lan. i told terence over msn who went "omg.. where? how?" and then promtly told me after that, that he actually had it but didnt realise. he functions on auto around me when we're both tired and picks up the stuff i leave lying around.

anyway, we think our brain waves are connected w our phones cos we can tell when we get calls and msgs before we get them. freaakyyy.

omg, i smell ciggs. hehe, im off t play FREE LAN and be a rokok beggar.

and, oh, surviving year two and meeting and making some of the best friends i could possibly find, that's off the richter too.

NIA NIA NIA

2006-02-15T13:55:00.001+08:00

so valentines came and went w not much ado. the picture would have been in sepia or maybe even in classic black and white. and the edges, furred by love.

my eyelid had been wonky since a week or so ago. i wonder if it'll get stuck like this and ill be ugly(er) fer the remainder of my life

hey im no a photoshop whore, i use fireworks. HEH.

i jst spent alota cash on charmaine. omgomg, there goes my chinese new year cash. oh joy.

Cyber Sexuality

2006-02-12T11:09:00.000+08:00

wow, i feel an onsurge on internet love. [:

my eyes are infected and my boyfriend doesnt believe that. but he's happy that im gna wear glasses fer a week,more out of necessity than a change of heart, but nonetheless.

and, i absolutely lovelovelove charmaine's stuff. (handcrafted earrings n necklaces) and i'm about to spend (in total) 57 buckaroos on 2 pairs o earrings and a necklace. and im NOT going to give you the pleasure of getting her url free, so if you wna see, PAY ME. or just love me.

i arrange for my love in a monetary show. (from the matriarch)

Caution to the Wind

2006-02-08T11:14:00.000+08:00

we spent friday night fighting and saturday morning drunk.
it was a filthy night but that didnt stop us from participating in a few fellowship of the ring moments.

we are hopelessly addicted t DoTA which is pretty fucking sad since its end of semester and we are spsd t be clearing our work (Like the very efficient, effective, A.S.S.ets are). DoTA makes us happy, sad, angry, tired, broke, stressed.

Tomorrow is my radio test and wyn is coming down t be my interviewee, THANKS WYN!. I havent gotten a script or anything, so tonight im gna say "NO" t DoTA.

My computer's back but it cant connect t MY network, but t everyone else's. So that's kinnda sucky. and it still lags and theres still a physical fault w the connection of my D Drive. Oh well.

It's good t listen t music again.

yeayeayeayeayeayea

2006-01-28T00:01:00.000+08:00

and i HATE (it could be times a million in my state) when you do that thing you do.
God you (and i) are so petty
we could be thieves.

coke moat

2006-01-19T00:17:00.000+08:00

he says im getting more and more evasive and slightly less persuasive.
i decided to get more creative, and moderately less comprehensive.

ah, how apt that song was on Radio Heatwave. I can just see the long shots showing how far ex-lovers have grown apart. A tad too dramatic, but I always had a weakness for that flair.
A newly made accquaintance proved to be rubbery, bouncing back from a car knock that paralleled the one on the "don't drink and drive" ad. It was startling and slightly disconcerting.

(Terence) Sleeping Android says:
thats why if we dont want to disappear into nothingness, then heed the words of achilles
i wont allow myself to be forgotten when im dead

(Me?) Haute : seductress of bums says:
but wot is there to remember?

Sleeping Android says:
my achievements

Haute : seductress of bums says:
deeds done out of the fear of being disremembered and dishonoured?
so we carry on that act until we die, and even after that.
my achievements are nothing but sport and foder for the audiences behind that screen
so im lead to question myself, my actions, my thoughts and words. everything is nothing? then wot is love?
do i love?
i think i love you
but how can i think when there is no "i" in the first place

and in times as such, throw out all those psychologist and their texts.
Denial! Denial! and blissful blocking.

nehneh

2006-01-16T00:59:00.000+08:00

think of me and make soup.
lend it some brine for flavour
because the isolation makes some cool cucumbers, yo.

im feeling the loss (or lack of presence) of warm bodies around me.
HAHAHA warm bodies fall from the sky; that makes fer pretty amusing imagery.

oh and my sister's boots, my mom's skirt, and my aunt's top got me 50 bucks taka voucher. talk about a bag woman.

i tried t communicate, but you wont let me behind your nowgaypiercedearthatyouwldnthavedonewhen itoldyoutoafewmonthsbefore. so wotever already.

cos the brains i had, went to my head

2006-01-08T13:54:00.000+08:00

age is irrelevant and irreverant.

its a rainy, rainy day. and we were supposed to spend it at km8, bikini clad, but instead we are opting for a nocturnal meeting to sing our tar-sprinkled lungs out at kbox.

so sally can wait, she knows its too late as she's walking on by.

get off

2006-01-07T01:45:00.000+08:00

"i swear im not the devil" in the background and your voice in the fore.

god, an eternity and a half, and im not there anymore.

billy goat's, say cheese!

2006-01-04T01:42:00.000+08:00

a rift in the time-space continum
it was coldmorningcoffee still
there was a moment where I thought our essense would become reduced to just that
and then there was a lapse, miniscule light particles peekabooed through
and then a supernova imploded
two bodies exploded

it was poignant, that goes without saying.

P, P and F

2006-01-02T02:22:00.000+08:00

2005 has been a loop-the-loop ride.

Spent New Year's Eve at MoS which is hugeee and plays really good music. We had up's and downs that night too, and i think i rather enjoyed us hugging quietly in my room than the mad hype that took place before.

oh and thursday night at coco turned out not so great in the beggining, due to the oldest of the cunts&roses forgetting her IC, as well as abandonment of poor wendy at the door. ]: but, the last hour was good where the whole clique plus terence was upstairs dancing madly. heh now we know who the dancing god is ehh. and aloy, yer pretty damn good.

I am currently feeling flu-ey and coughing my lungs out while my brains get blown outta my nose. diu.

the image is my samsung cover thing fer PR fer my folder fer my Media Kit assignment. i miss my camera... jy give it baackk!

lets get retarded

2005-12-30T16:01:00.000+08:00

some boys are just blind and silly.
or maybe, they just want to fuck.
like terence says, "cover the face, fuck the base"

but seriously, who can be tt fuckin desperate.

level UP dammit

2005-12-26T17:11:00.000+08:00

A plane flew by leaving a contrail in the sky of element-mixed blue
and I thought it the most honest thing I saw that day
until I saw Harry Potter
and the red rose, boss gave to him, to give to me.

A year's passed by fast. Almost obscenely so.
3 groups of friends, 2 relationships, and one year later...
we're one year older, one year better (or worse), one years of pimples and problems to deal with.

and if you are one of those that have coloured my journey, whether positively or negatively or both, then thankyou. cos its certainly been interesting.

party smarty

2005-12-25T02:07:00.000+08:00

sue:
i was going to wait for santa until my brother came in and told me
"oei our house got no chimney"

me:
HAHAHAHA maybe he'll come in thru the tv?

sue:
tts freaky. like sadako

me:
HAHA.. santako

HAHAHA i think its funny.
ive got a pimple on in the middle o my nose, which i guess is apt. Rudolf and all.
The Christmas Spirit seems a little low this year, maybe its school and the lack of monies that prevents me from going to all the shops and supporting this growing consumerism of Christmas.

yawns, im thinking of turkey and love, warm hands and comforting forms, port and smellofholidays.

Merry Christmas sweethearts. Peace and love to all mankind. [:

'ta

Cunts and Roses

2005-12-20T02:45:00.000+08:00

tonight was an interesting one.

F.U Tie Bao got Warcraft Battlechest from Ethan (everyone jst say: HOW GAYYYY) and then promptly spilled the beans on our surprise party fer Ethor. (everyone now say: F YOU TIE BAO)then i lied while ethan laughed at my attempts t fool him into coming out. then ethan backstabbed bao and told us about bao backstabbing us. BITCHES!

there was alot of cake smashing and we all ended up smelling and look like blackforest monkeys.

then there was manymany photos taken, of us jumping, laughing, licking, kissing (wendy and i, it was jst a peck), hanging, hurting (tie bao) and being jst plain retards.

but in the end, its the company that matters. so thankyou to terence, wendy, aloy, ethan, and zat for making tonight so hotdamnededlygreat!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, ETHOR. THE SPASTIC SUPERHEROES LOVE YOU!

smoke till you quease

2005-12-16T23:11:00.000+08:00

you said, "you are arrogant"
and you thought, "you are ugly"

and I just feel, dont smoke so much, dont poke so much, dont coke so much.

taquitos and dongles

2005-12-14T18:54:00.000+08:00

the bell was loud and sonorous
it struck a ironic tin-y note right, openbracket align=center closebracket, in my heart.
"so you're here to fight" it said in it's steel-edged voice.
"no, just to prove a point" i replied, like a cat thinly veiled in sheep's clothing.

* $15 per ticket - inclusive of 1 free drink
* $3 housepours
* $10 jugs

- BIGGEST, WILDEST and the 1ST INDOOR Beach Party happening at CHINABLACK !!!!

R&B TOP 40S. Guest DJ (Ashley) from Melbourne will be playing from 12am - 2am (Oh trust me he is HELL good), so make sure you enter before midnight !

- Join us on the 20th of December dressed in yur funkiest BEACHWEAR, SLIPPERS, BERMS, SINGLETS and even HATS !

- Bikini clad girls will get in for FREE before 11 p.m. !!!

Be part of this new clubbing culture, message Wyn at 96668355 for tickets now !

tramp

2005-12-07T11:34:00.000+08:00

I first must say that, Mr Choy Kok Kee is a genius.

Then I also must say, that I am not.
Warcraft: Defence Of The Ancients, More commonly called by the acronym DOTA, is one fucking hard game. And I fucking suck at it.

I got killed 8 times, in 20 minutes. And most of the time I didnt know that I was being killed, cos I was trying t find a way t get SOMEWHERE and do SOMETHING. For heaven's sake, I didnt know which team I was on.

So terence and I got ticked off, me by my lack of adequacy and him by everything else, so we quit the game and threw arnd a few cans and tantrums and left.

I have new found respect for what Mr Choy as well as those DOTA freaks do.
Cos I cant fucking figure out both.

hey, respect

2005-12-01T11:39:00.000+08:00

Tetro ZinZanni ; Love, Chaos & Dinner.

Whenever I hear the malay boy or chinese girl speak in their native tongues about their father and the imperialists or their mother and her take on the famous crying scene and see the black and white photos flash across the screen, with the signature Oriental tune of "History of Singapore" playing at the back on Discovery, travel and living , I feel a surge of pride. The island that accomplished the seemingly impossible.

As Ive said I love Singapore, Im just not a patriot.

voice populae

2005-11-26T16:48:00.000+08:00

the general consensus is one of disgust.
"eeee" and "omfg" were the four letter words of the night.

i cant remember wot happened most of the week and/or why im never home before 12 (earliest). Anyway, yesterday was the party at One. Congratulations to Alex for bouncing back from the Right Riot.

The work is coming in and I (like everyone else tt i surround myself with) is gravitating between extreme denial and heart-stopping-panic.

im tempted t say more, but i shant.
okay maybe just: eeee omfg.
and thow in another for good measure: wtfs (wot the fuck sial)

it wouldnt kill!

2005-11-19T19:05:00.000+08:00

Plastic smiles, put-on poses
Perfumed ears, turned-up noses
Jaded eyes that somehow lost their shines
It's your life, but not for me
Easy me
- Easy Me; Overheads

its been a very interesting week spent bonding with the same grp o ppl. its nice to know that they arent jst ppl you see in school, but ppl who you can trust to get high (or drunk in some o our cases) with you, take care of you, listen to you, cry with you, curse with you, and make out with you. (HAHA)

last night was spent at sentosa. the smirnoff and pepsi finished by 2, so we were left with depleting numbers of ciggerettes and a thirst both physical and emotional. and now we know, alot more things about the others around us. and now we know, that we are bonded through the pain as well as the pleasure that company prevokes/invokes.

hey my sweethearts, madonna shaking her fourty year old crotch in spandex leotards is unappetising

Movement presents:
OUTRAGEOUS! @ ONE! 25th Nov (THIS FRIDAY!), One Fullerton lvl 3, DMC Champ dj rattle spinning hiphop Rnb till 5. $5 glass, $20 jugs, $110 bottles ALL NIGHT! FREE bottles to be won! First 300 get goodie bags containing vouchers and a magazine! SMS/Tag me or SMS Alex at 98325925

and i dont know wot else i can do. because there just is no talking to you

Age-defying

2005-11-16T09:21:00.000+08:00

the slipper chronicles

Im awake so early, i pressed snooze 4 times though.

I made him dl "Space Invaders" By Aqua cos its been in my head for like forever. I forgot how the chorus went so I finally gave up on coaxing my subconsious to remember and called mantha t ask her t sing it to me.

SPACE INVADERS.
You could probe me space invader. Surfing on a rocket, chillout groove.

sediment of sentiment

2005-11-14T02:33:00.000+08:00

my discontent fuels my feigned disinterest and mind-fucks im pulling.

im vacuous and spaced. sometimes there are things you cant stop missing. like the flashing orange of your msn nic/window on my sidebar tt tells me you still want to......

a sad waste of a good life

2005-11-12T21:47:00.000+08:00

lost youths o sgp, i know about two and there are so many like them who need to be lead and yet refuse it. cowardice perhaps or maybe jst sheepish (mentality). and tts sth t be sad about. maybe its better to be in rehab. but then again one hears the horror stories (and sees them in my case) and you cant help but feel... helpless

on a happier note, happy one month and one day sweet.

and im in this month's Juice. And last night Casan, Wendy and I's photo got taken at O Bar by Nightlife.

yer the smoke settling in my lungs that i cant exhale. you are bittersweet and you knock me off my feet. you puzzle and dizzy. you drive me to a high. i crave you, you are my addiction. and im not gna stop it, even if i could [: (but of course you arent harmful to me)

no expression

2005-11-09T01:23:00.000+08:00

and I find kinnda funny, I find it kinnda sad. The dreams in which Im dying are the best Ive ever had. I find it hard t tell you cos I find it hard t take. When ppl run in circles its a veryvery mad world. -Mad world; Alex Parks

It's been a long day, and its time to put what I have learned in place. Newly accquired knowledge needs to be used aeii?
So, since the interest in my blog has peaked and thus piqued certain people I shall explain wot i see a need to.

I have discussed with you or rather you have confronted me in an effort not to make peace (as you reiterated repeatedly) but to tell me you dont like how I address issues. And I have apologised for that humji act of putting it on a public domain instead of coming up t thrash it out. And yes, you are right, building bridges must first start with knocking down the existing rotting structure. For that I duly and fittingly apologise.

However, there are issues to be approached that could not be either due to time constraints or the unwillingness of me to broach your unhospitable girth. And as you said, only time can resolve wots left to resolve. So let's let time run its course.

To the other, its my own fault that I fucked things between us so it was wrong of me t suppose that forgiveness was easy card to be dealt. I duly and fittingly apologise.
I wish you all the best.

As such, I have decided (whether my will or not played a major role in this decision) to leave the group. The two main reasons why I stayed, ie the hope that things would get better and for the sake of Terence, have proved either insubstantial (former) or inconsequential (latter) and thus prompted this announcement of disengagement. Furthermore I have full blessings.

The politiking can stop now, its gone on for fartoolong and Ill be glad to leave it behind. Do expect a smile from me in recognition of happier times. I wont expect one back but if it comes then you can be assured it is taken gratefully.

I wish everyone concerned or concerned about the concerned a good day.

beatlemania

2005-11-07T10:46:00.000+08:00

its a dream set to music and lyrics. Sgt Pepper's: Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. look for the girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

starhub is robbing me of 655 bucks. yes, pause, gape and utter a loud "WOT THE FUCK". my pay has disappeared into the coporate black hole. Im well on my way t becoming a bitter adult. thankgod i bought his present first or there wldnt have been enough for it after i pay. However, I now have t find 100 more bucks. im tempted t curse them but in fear o being sued (which i already am being) by starhub i WONT. there i deny you the pleasure of sucking more cash outta me.
tt wasnt politically correct but not libel (i think).

if you want t give me money, sms me, call me, email me, friendster message me, tag me. anyway possible, thanks.

anyway, here's a picture of the jacket. Franz Beckenbauer, in white, by Adidas Originals.

golden stacks

2005-11-04T11:11:00.000+08:00

hey, school has started but not really proper so we'll wait fer next week t bitch&moan.

little girls can be SUCH pains. (well all girls are but...) i was trying t sleep under the piano but they were playing catching so cannot slp. so then some other ppl wanted the floor, so they decided t disturb me. wah lao eyyy. e convo was as such:

"SHE'S DEAD! ARE YOU DEAD?"
"ZOE COME HERE, SHE'S DEAD!!"
"LET'S TAKE HER HANDPHONE!" (lil scheming thieves!)
"HEHEHEHE... ARE YOU SLEEPING?"
"WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING UNDER THE PIANO?"
"SHE'S DEAD!!"

no morals and values these children. tsktskk. anyway, modern exam later on at 450, but ill leave soon so i can get free lunch. heeheehee. i dont have morals either aeii.

[edit at 12:21]i try t build bridges but since yer (both) so god damned hostile. fuckit. not happy himbeingwithme/mebeingwithhim? then i suggest you (both) go find other things t look at, cos we're happybeyondwords and tt has ntg t do w the pleasure i get from knowing you both kick yer balls in secret.

jewels, alexandra, and chezels

2005-10-28T20:17:00.000+08:00

hey, you all weight light, make me heavy.

last day of work, and i went out in a flurry of orange and black crepe streamers, and myriad of colours and beautiful behaviour against a wild gaiety.
the best costumes of the day were tyler's pirate, scott's wraith, barnett's dragon and shannon's bee.

The Right Riot last night proved to be a well nt very well populated because of the horrid torrential downpour tt started at 10. but still, wendy, casan, terence and i had fun. Happy 18th to wendy the witch. [:
the after party wasnt much o a ball and ended up with aching arm muscles and near-tears exasperation. the term "dead weight" kept running through my head with all sorts of unpleasant imagery accompanying tt.

school starts in a bit, and thank god fer tt, cos i need a damned holiday from this holiday.

the sound of the stereo, the dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair as you twirled through yer fingers. and the time on the clock when we realise its so late, and the walk tt we shared tgt.

the ocean and the sea follies

2005-10-22T19:26:00.000+08:00

our orbits collide and spring apart only to gravitatingly, gyratingly, insatiably be drawn back together.
and im unreasonably, incoherantly, expansively, magnanimously, blinding, mind-fuckingly amorous.

tts alot o adjectives, baby.

my horoscope (according t friendster) says : Clear the air and communicate your feelings. They want to make things right.
do they? then ill start building my bridges. throw me a lifeline if i drown, darling.

my ixus doesnt like my dell. it wont mate and give me my full-blown coloured glory on screen.

my reality needs to re-aligned to fit my dreams.

Hey, Happy Birthday love.

and baby, it never felt better.

and it rained bliss

2005-10-19T16:30:00.000+08:00

its enough to say that Im happy.

its mad delirium tt sweeps us of our feet. and in the blur I can only see you.

different dealings with death

2005-10-14T00:59:00.000+08:00

their grief was calculable. and the thearatics understandable.
he was always a silly cat, but I did love him so.

"do you want to hold him?"
the answer was negative
i would rather remember him in life then hold his form in death.

"pray with us" I answered with silence
id rather keep that prayer unchoked and unmarred by tears,in my heart and head.

and so i will stay on a candlelight virgil where he left us.

May God lead you, and love you. Rest in peace.

plural norms

2005-10-10T22:01:00.000+08:00

So that's another chapter of my life completed. Another relationship. This time it really was my fault. A ciggrette caught up with me. Well, maybe Happiness is a Smoking Ciggrette. Leaves behind a lingering scent (just a memory of what once was aflame), a slightly giddy feeling and a faint bitter aftertaste.

tangled limbs and interlocked extremities. hey, look who isnt that blond.

original motion picture

2005-10-08T22:15:00.000+08:00

ChinaBlack left me w the urge t murder the DJ and conduct a massacre on the dance floor.

So we left and went t watch The Skeleton Key. which makes me scared o mirrors. pretty gd though.

Im feeling strangely domestic, but restless. So Im spending the night at a friend's watching VCD's, eating strange food, reading rubbish and all in a huge teeshirt and track shorts.

On a random note, I cant find any sports bras. My maid must be campaigning fer properly supported boobs.

you x a million

2005-10-07T15:43:00.000+08:00

ECP w bao ie. botboy, and ethan two days ago. Yesterday was spent with kelvin ong poh siang (like FINALLY dammit) :] and terence. DarkWater at 930pm is not a very smart move. But I forgot t bring my ID so cldnt watch 40yroldvirgin. Anyway, now im uber out-o-my-head scared o my elavator. :/ my sister had t fetch me down when I went fer work and then come down t fetch me up from work. HEHE.

Tonight we're all CB-ians. LOL ChinaBlack la. Fel's party. And I shall celebrate fer passing all my subs (albeit VERY poorly).

Is it that obvious that Im trying not t think o sad, so I can be "happy"?

sad

2005-10-07T00:13:00.000+08:00

i could be happy fer 23 hours and then suddenly in an insidious suddeness, a thought of you washes over me. and then i fall to silence. because theres a space where you used to be, that you no longer (maybe) want t be in. and it doesnt hurt, just more o a dull ache. but theres something missing.

so, im gna ask you to forgive me. because nothing is the same. and i want you.

i need you

Painful Reloops

2005-10-04T18:00:00.000+08:00

i actually typed out alot o things tt i wanted t say. But I guess all i need t ask is "Do you still love me?"

If the answer is anything but "yes" then maybe we need to think abt things. And what went wrong. And if we can fix it.

im sorry. i still wna be with you. you are scaring me. i love you

Basalt and blasts

2005-10-03T17:55:00.000+08:00

Looking through old albums and previous-blog blog entries, and Im awed at how young I was, how young and how much in-platonic-love we were.
I cant say for sure, but I dont think Ill forget the both of you.

Sassygirl, Sooperman, Surfbabe. <3

you could say it ebbed away

creme bru le

2005-09-28T01:49:00.000+08:00

I cherish the rare moments when I can breathe.
I've got a damn blocked nose. Like a highway jam leading out to the east, in front o Suntec in the morning, which causes my cabfare to be 2 digits, annoying me greatly.

Guilt trips wont work on me anymore. Not after tonight.
The dream I had in the morning might have been some sort of forewarning. In my theatre of the mind set with secondary school characters, it was a blast of alientaion from the past.

I need to sleep, so I can wake up in the morning to hear little children read to me.

Without you, today's emotions would be the scurf of yesterday's. -Hipolito, the writer; Amelie

collecting social graces

2005-09-22T20:22:00.000+08:00

Right outside my front door was a rose
and a note that said 'Somebody loves you'

Angel in disguise
Corrine May

macbeth reruns

2005-09-22T19:41:00.000+08:00

It's every day
I'm in this place
I feel this way
I feel the same
It's every day
I'm in this place
I feel this way
I feel the same

Is it all inside my head
Is it all inside my head
I'll view the list
And take my pick
I view my faith
And make a choice
'Cause it's nobody else's but mine

But you are in my heart
I can feel your beat
And you move my mind
From behind the wheel
When I lose control
I can only breathe your name
I can only breathe your name

So many days within this race
I need the truth
I need some grace
I need the path
To find my place
I need some truth
I need some grace
The part of you
That's part of me
We'll never die
We'll never leave
And it's nobody else's but mine

You are in my heart
I can feel your beat
And you move my mind
From behind the wheel
When I lose control
I can only breathe your name
I can only breathe your name

You'll view the list
And take your pick
You'll view my faith
And make a choice
'Cause it's nobody else's but yours

And you're in my heart
I can feel your beat
And you move my mind
From behind the wheel
When I lose control
I can only breathe your name

Breathe your name
Sixpence none the richer

p0"?

2005-09-18T02:59:00.000+08:00

today i quit dance. tomorrow i may un-quit.
but i probably wont.

She says im gna end up in jail and/or have AIDS. I'm self-centered, imhumane, cruel and heartless, she accused. The same person she used to be proud of now brings her so much shame and fear.

Im a waste of space.

so you trip over tomorrow, and stumble on today.

earthbound

2005-09-16T03:02:00.000+08:00

On tuesday I went on a LSD-like, drug-less high. It was terrifying and beautiful. The most poetic lines came out of me, and I was in a trance for a good half hour+. It was a gradual slipping into and a rough awakening.

I am certain that I was about to cross to insanity. I could feel the edges with my mind. And if I had not stopped, I would have gone truely, clinically, mentally ill.

In the middle of my madness, I told terence (amung alot of other things) that I knew what it was. It was an estatic celebration of nothing. And because, , there is sadness. I did not know how to describe between the commas, hence the blank between.

Let's cheers to life, love and light.

just lines:

" i can feel my particles separating, warping ... and i will shatter and die, with a million shards of light, across the universe. and i become you. and the light will be its own ... wax lyrical. the violin jags into my centre, it arouses and animates. and the voice will soothe me back to sleep. and i shall drift, we shall drift. the music will be our wind and wings" - msn convo t ethan by myself

heart went "BOOM"

2005-09-10T18:27:00.000+08:00

prysmatic perfection of three equally brilliant days.

Porn Star (wannabe)

2005-09-09T13:57:00.000+08:00

New Albums up. Alot o repetition in them and alot o (make-believe) artistic shots as well as photos you might not want to see hey I'm a wannabe aeii...

In my dreams I'm a Sex Goddess.

fire that freezes

2005-09-06T17:41:00.000+08:00

so newspaper project's over. FINALLY. everything's over. O-V-E-R. after 2 nights of combined single digit sleep hours last night I slept from 12am to 2pm (or a little bit more). wot's left is now 2 papers (MRM and Advert) and tts it fer the semester.

This whole semester has been a thorough and proper whirlwind. It's been tough beyond words and its ruined many friendships as well as perceptions of people. But I'm grateful of all the new friends I have found.

Alright, more later. gta go watch the Tripping Candies jam. [:

Oh, and shameless plugging:

A night of glamour n fun...
Hunk & Babe Nite 16th september Friday!!
VENUE: Indochine Wisma
TIME : Doors open @ 9pm
MUSIC : Hip hop
R&B all night

Guaranteed to be a nite of fun at the newly
renovated Aquadisiac! Come party with the hottest peeps in town.

DRESS TO KILL & GET SPOTTED! U might win MP3 players or other
attractive prizes including makeovers by Cover Looks !

Beer promo @$38
per bucket & many other drinks promo!

SMS/Call me at 91096463 or
leave a msg in the Haloscan below.

we are caught in the fire. the point of no return. so we will walk through the fire, and let it burn.

stufff (it)

2005-08-31T21:48:00.000+08:00

i miss you babe. and yes, we both know that that's not going to resolve issues. hopefully tomorrow will be as good as they were a few yesterdays (and maybe a few more) ago.

if i didnt love you so much, i would leave.

a conversation between z and i:

Haute : reversely printed says:
i talked t x and she seemed appalled tt y had feelings fer her (at first)
then a few days later.
crashbangkiss!

z says:
Strange people
do you think they'll last

Haute : reversely printed says:
hmm i hope so
i dont think i know either one of them well enough, and seen their chemistry tgt t make a judgement on tt.

but nonetheless, whether or not im The Worst Mistake Of Your Life, i wish you guys all happiness.

tangerine hearts

2005-08-30T14:11:00.000+08:00

im sitting in canteen one now cos im a chicken ass and scared t face suzanne chan's evil stare as i walk in although i techically was not late.

and the reason why im so late fer lecture in the first place is cos im sick and my head is muddled. and then when i reached the counter at NTUC (went t buy strepsils), i realised i had no money. then planning t call my friends t tell them tt i wld be coming and cld someone pay fer my cab first, i realised my phone was at home too. oh hooray. then hoping and praying fervently i walked back and to my dismay (i seriously was dismayed) the door was very efficiently locked. headed back down t the lobby t use the phone and my mother didnt pick up her phone and i forgot her other line and i forgot everyone else's number in tt moment of panic (besides yz). so i called him and the tears started flowing but the heartless people at the office chased me off the phone cos its "the office phone, could you please make it short". how can u chase a crying girl off the phone la. tsk.
went back up and tried t open the door, and i thought God might be benevolent and open it fer me in some miracle. unfortunately no. had to go upstairs to my neighbours to borrow their phone. how fucking embarrassing. and i was red nosed, bleary eyed, smudged eyeliner-ed. tak glam t e max. :S

finally got through t my mom and i taxied down t her place and then taxied t sch. i thought i might print my radio diary thing fer mrm but the place was PACKED w mcm year 2's and year 3's (not my cohort o yr 2's btw). so i decided t leave and go fer lecture and... yes the rest is history.

being sunburnt and having a fever is very bad. because when you feel cold (fever) you have t put on more layers. and the layers scratch the skin and make it HURT (sunburn). also you wna turn the shower up to boiling (fever) but the PAIN of doing so stops you from doing what yer heart/body wants (sunburn). see..

zircon

2005-08-27T19:13:00.000+08:00

and im reversely printed.

i love you, but you should just fuck off.

]:

2005-08-25T23:12:00.000+08:00

cld this day get any worse?

yes it probably cld. but not much maen. (almost) everything tt cld, went wrong.

How Depressing.

brides blood

2005-08-25T00:00:00.000+08:00

my IS homework this week is to find an individual who at that moment, strikes us as beautiful, complete, and alive, and then thank them for their existence and for sharing his/her beauty with the world.

its been a bone-aching, soul-straining, eye-tearing, patience-wearing, heart-sinking, voicebox-ripping, head-pounding, adrenalin-pumping day.

started fucked e first part of the morning ending w casan and i wanting to jump off the 6th floor of block 56. newswriting has tt kinnda effect on you. :/ but the morning ended on a good note, with junk food in the computer lab.

rushed upstairs to model for amanda/reza/dawn's tv shoot. i was told tt i was gna be a chinese bride. i wasnt told tt i was gg t be madeup as a Halloween one. the white makeup can KILL. and then i had t endure agony while sitting there under e lights (which were thankfully warm on the skin) with steel-mesh-sponges being dabbed (HARD) on my cheeks, necks and eyes randomly, and red facepaint being spread under my eyes with the applicator catching my eye, already tearing cos of the sheer amount of poweder flying arnd my face,or more specifically, catching my contact lens. which made me tear uncontrollably (how the fuck dya control yer tears from flowing down yer cheeks without moving?). and this clear, chemical smelling (I LIKEEE) liquid being spread on my face which tightened quite painfully. and then it being ripped off leaving patches o skin hairless and numb. BUT tt being said, (keeping in mind o my hyperbolic nature) i did enjoy the experience and their grp was really nice abt everything. and their set is AWESOME.

then headed t atrium after detouring t see sam. by tt tym casan was pretty much burning up (as in feverish) after her puking session at e tv studios. :/ yz came and we headed t e library t watch "Eating Air". its pretty good but not very commercial or mainstream cos its pretty dry on the climax and conflict bits.

hmm back t atrium then off t SIM t meet izzy t go t block 53, level 8 fer him t edit our tape. THANKYOU ISMAIL ALI. :D and then rushrush up t level 9 fer tv rehearsal and all. im supersuper proud o my crew cos they did an AMAZING job of listening t me and my panicked ramblings into the mic and understanding and taking the initiative and being so god-damned efficient! THANKYOU. and im uber sorry as well fer being so unintelligible and shout-y.

so in one day i went from defeated-editor to bloody bride to disorganised-BUT-deliriously-happy director.

take me home

2005-08-20T13:17:00.000+08:00

just read two blogs that refer to the same person. both used the word "beautiful". beautybeautybeauty. its an obssession. my obssession.

last night was daryl's 21st bday party. we got lost in the maze that his house is situated in. and the road , which michelle aptly described as "snake road", felt like initial d. the taxi driver got pissed cos michelle pointed us in e wrong direction after gg in the wrong direction. and her accent didnt help the situation. in the end yz tried t pacify the driver by speaking hokkein.
oh well, we arrived and it was the four o us (michelle, her best friend-crystal, yz and i) knowing hardly anyone. daryl has alot o friends and we knew none. the caterer was bloody amazing. best catered food ive everever had. [: oh and his house; breathtakingly... beautiful. we tried to drink to loosen things up and it ended up with one o daryl's "fashion police" spotting yz in jeans and calling daryl who promtly threw him a thong (yellow, sheer, with appliqued red lips) to wear over his jeans, although i begged for leniency. he was,obviously, relecutant to wear em but was persuaded by the girls, daryl and some fellow who told him t "join the club", lifting his shirt to reveal a purple thong. LOL.
we headed outside and finally began to mingle and we sat down at a table and played drinking games like 'round of death' and 'drinking goggles'. fun [:
oh and one section of this entry mustmustmust be about daryl's room. OMG its HUGE.and the number of comics he has... shit he cld start a good size shop w them. he has boxes upon boxes and shelves filled with (as i was informed by michelle) rare and expensive comics. and his star wars figurines... wtffff they LINE the room. actually anywhere you turn you can see some sort of comic book related merchandise. bloody brilliant.

we headed off at 12+ to go eat prata at 'the cheese shop' which was quite good. mm walked to west coast park and left at 3+ gettng back home at 330 and slept at 4.
dragged myself outta e bed at 815 to go t e yellow ribbon convention which was actually quite entertaining and enlightening. [:

im currently kicking myself for not following agnes (writing fr newswriting), eunice (writing for tribune) and the straits times reporter to question someone. tskkkkk. if i had testicles i wld chew them off. :/

ok im off t bed fer a while before heading to an advertising meeting at 330, city hall and then 7pm dinner w everyone and then maybe zouk at 10pm. oh tiredness.

[:

2005-08-18T22:21:00.000+08:00

you make me wna LALALA.

sososo scandalous. tsktskk michelle!

watched charlie and the chocolate factory today. it was entertaining and quite amusing. though the oompa loompa's were kinnda scary, being clones and all. the glass elevator is cooool.

im one greedy bitch. i keep wanting t eat EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. ]: izzy said i was getting heavier and i can see (quite obviously) tt im getting flabbier and chubbier. :/

tomorrow gna rush from school back home t shower and get ready then cab t yz's t pick him up and then go meet michelle at tiong bahru to go t daryl's semi formal party tt requires me t wear a cocktail dress!

i dont understand the anger. and once i work the courage up t ask those questions, i close the window, afraid to see the answers. i wish you were alright. i don't much like you in this state, but its still you and i still love you.

im exceedingly uninteresting. just a mannequin.

out across the endless sea. i would die in ecstacy. but ill be a bag o bones, driving down the road along.

disappearing act

2005-08-17T00:03:00.000+08:00

sometimes I wish I cld disappear. and sometimes I wish ppl wld not see it as me disappearing.

some how it feels like I'm doing something wrong. But why? I'm giving up so much that I feel is right, for something that feels right? so which is righter?

Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band plays.

Was greatly amused by two of the (spsd but fictional) brotherhood-of-three bitching abt one member.

HAHA

school work is god-damned effed up and I have this bad feeling tt I bit of too much for me t swallow.

every team has (at least) one bad egg, black sheep, slacker, chipped marble, freeloader, drifter...

sleepsleepsleepsleeeeeeeep.

wimpy mints

2005-08-08T15:36:00.000+08:00

1. Marvin the Manic Depressive Robot from Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy. [: Rencerence! reminds me of you! <3
2:I LOVE LUCY!
3: Willy Wonka's Golden Ticket. as if I cld be so lucky.
4: Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka. He's a bit too weird in the show but e tee is dopee!

skipped school today cos I'm siiiiiick. -sneeze-. was packing yesterday (we are confirmed moving by Sat) and e dust was stirred from their long-time sleeping places causing me t sneeze uncontrollably. and I just carried on sneezing all the way to joochiat and rehearsal and makeup and hair and then all the way to Neptune where I sniffled till I went on stage and then sniffled back home.

had an Emo Episode (E.E) last night. when he's Emo I'm not and when I'm Emo he's not. But he understands and was beautifully gracious and loving. [:

gna be shooting the Fireflies (fire twirling group) tonight at The Esplanade fer my TV Prod Chat/Demo and show video. Thanks goes out to Izzy Ali.
After that maybe we'll go t Asylum t visit Casan and then maybe go t Gotham Penthouse fer the AC party. but then again... its an ACJC party. -__-

as i sid to rencerence last night:
My head aches for year two
My eyes tear for year two
My eyebags grow for year two

my lettuce skirt is flying. its an indication of wind. and those bulbous dew drop eyes with vertical irises, sniff at the indication of wind.

slaves driving

2005-08-06T22:53:00.000+08:00

I can hear my driven slaves letting out chewbacca like howls right now.

At ballet I could gladly have given out such a yowl myself. But it was only out of courtesy (as well as extreme fatigue) tt kept me from doing such a shameful act.

I went over the things that I am supposed to do next week and I swear somebody should just knife (or lynch) me right now.

My mind was wandering and wondering in dance classes. I couldnt focus, much less focus on something else besides the increasing pain in the muscles. Today was a day for scoldings, total randomity and irritation.

--
She sits and leans and perambulates around perimeters
and gesticulates
punctiliously interspersing
"I honestly don't care anymore"
Says She, plumly and plumptly
"We have lifes too"
emphasising on their age and senority
which are double edged swords

I thought of her as a movie-made-comic.

She seems a life sized,
moonfaced,
smashed countenance China doll albeit pugish to a
slight degree
reject shop material
Animated (greatly so)
a Caricuture of a saccharine
human
masked by bitterness and
"I honestly don't care anymore"
--

That was random and uncalled for

bi layer

2005-08-04T13:08:00.000+08:00

the air smells of egg mayo and is strangely air conditioned on the skin.

I can feel the stress from e tips of my hair to e dirt between e toes. this is bad bad bad. how did I end up w TWO head positions (rhetorical question nunmber one) and why cant I deal with this (rhetorical question two).

skipped advertising today cos I figured that I'm not gna bother going for a class tts shorter than e time it takes for me t get there. anyway this would be the first advertising class I've missed. I've maxed out my newswriting semester leaves. haha just waiting for the warning letter to come.

I'm slipping, slipping, slippinggg.

indigo

2005-08-01T21:45:00.001+08:00

hahahaha life is a cruel joke. existence on this earth a (poorly) masked facade for hell.

yes it is, yes it is.
but I'll take it in my stride.

I owe starhub 700 which I get 2 months t pay. 500 fer termination and 186 or so in bills. plus admin and all it adds up t 700. telling the parents is not an option.
I cut or scratched myself w e applicator fer my tampon and now it pretty much hurts like hell. so back to pads I go.
mom and dad kp-ing me major time abt my room, attitude, and how the rain falls.

today could have been better. (understatement of the day)

x & y, Coldplay
Trying hard to speak and
Fighting with my weak hand
Driven to distraction
So part of the plan

When something is broken
And you try to fix it
Trying to repair it
Any way you can

I'm diving off the deep end
You become my best friend
I wanna love you
But I don't know if I can

I know something is broken
And I'm trying to fix it
Trying to repair it
Any way I can

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh...

You and me are floating on a tidal wave...
Together
You and me are drifting into outer space...
And singing

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh...

deyenne

2005-07-30T00:34:00.000+08:00

oooh how sensual. Lip and Nipple Balm by Agent Provocateur.

today we did the long march. not as long as Ethan's marches but long nonetheless. from tiong bahru t orchard w a pitstop fer liquid refreshment at Great World City.

my mother kp's alot. but dinner at chinatown was good. dim sum dollies we are. at the end o e night, we all resembled selena.

my sister is a master relative richness leecher. I'm amazed at her prowess.

the doctor refused to give me an MC. I think it was cos he was disappointed tt I wasnt pregnant. the (rude) woman at the counter gave me room 6 which turned out to be the emergency doctor. outside every other room there were at least 5 patients waiting. room 6 had one patient waiting besides me. the doctor looked saddened by my lack of other ailments, a headache was all I suffered from, such as nausea and vomitting and heightened blood pressure.

viewing pleasure

I think anyone else had my life they wld say it sucks. But I don't think its that bad. or maybe the badness doesnt really sink in.

mic test one two

2005-07-27T05:25:00.000+08:00

just finished my advertising shit. well considering I started at 230 its not bad la. ivva losta alla my photo(c)shop skills.

mm needa start bucking down and doing work cos the more I think of it, the more likely it seems that I'm going to fail a few modules this semester. I don't know any of the formulas for Media Research Methods nor Media Management. And I don't think my rushed out field assignment one for Newswriting was any good at all. It probably failed or just passed (like my MM leadership paper)This's not good. not good at all.

life's a bore and a chore. Thank God for friends.

ok the mother is gg t get up in 15 min so im gg t fled back t the safety of my room. let's HOPE tt i wake up for Newswriting at 10. :/

like a rose in glass and water

2005-07-24T12:50:00.000+08:00

this morning was pretty informative. breakfast w my father is never uninteresting.

quoted, refering to America "Don't come and pick on other people when your nose is not clean."

i dislike bush, abhor china's greediness and immorality,and am horrified (yet again)at the injustice that the world's people have t live with.

we're self-hating, eachother-loving people yes rencerence?

has it ever occured to you that in trying to be different, we're all the same? and in wanting to be open-minded we just become more closed?

like a rose in glass and water...

back to bedlam

2005-07-22T01:26:00.000+08:00

seafood fetish. sea food. see food.

life's getting monotonous as well as stressful. tedious basically. Im both the editor fer newswriting and the director fer tv prod. steam. 7 more weeks o sch left and Im wishing I cld just finish this semester and go on holiday.

Im spsd t go shopping, but how can i when I have no time?
it seems I have both ALOT of time as well as none.

progress on the moving is zilch. ah I have alot o things in the wings, but none on stage yet. then they'll all come on stage in successive and startling bursts and stun the fuck outta me.

i need t cut down on smoking and cursing. another two items t add onto my alr supremely long "To Do" list.

kpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkp. I shall SHUTUP cos Im annoying myself intensely. I need physical human company.

laden

2005-07-18T00:45:00.000+08:00

seafood has never had such weird names. first time Ive seen ju ju, and eaten gong gong. and despite the weird arse names, its realllly good! [:

I had two dinners tonight! ate w my family then they sent me t meet e jackfruits at esplanade fer baybeats then we bussed t lao pa sat and ate seafood. wooot... this is life, this is the way t get fat(ter). [[:

two weeks ago, I sat down w my aunt and told her abt our preliminary discussions about moving at the end o the year. after tt, I got an earful from the Mother about it, because she hadnt even talked t the Father about it yet.
Just today, when the rest o the Family came back from lunch (I declined t go so as to sleep), she sat down in e chair and announced to me "We're moving". I reply "All right." She continues "So start packing your things" to which I reply with much astonishment "HUH?! WHEN are we moving?" She answers "Two weeks".
?!?!

anyway, we're moving t e apartment across the hall from her Boss. :/ like my sister said, we're not gg t have a mother anymore. And tt means I cant sleep on the floormat.

But, River Valley is 10 min walk from town and smack in the middle o MS and Clarke Quay. now i dun even have t worry abt NR's. CABS ARE US!

HAHA I TOLD you tt you wld be angry.
Dont destroy something for us, we need no help from you. And dont be jealous that he has my love.

:|

2005-07-17T04:24:00.000+08:00

you patronising, egoistic, juvenile, immature, self-centered, hero-complexed, narcissistic, smug individual.
all i can say is that i know where i stand. do YOU? don't be so sure of yourself. i can assure you that your original assessment of the situation is less than accurate.

its not my place t say anything more, so nothing more will be said.

pale girls in black velvet

2005-07-16T14:14:00.000+08:00

there's something wrong. something very wrong. its big and growing bigger.(what's feeding this monstrosity?) and we are all just pretending to not see it. not feel it. its only whispered. behind self made walls, we mention it in a would-be-callous manner. cautious carelessness? in two's we scarcely dare scratch the surface. relax? everything will flow? oh no more, no more. nevermore. I can't help but blame myself. Because it is my fault (isnt it?). but I don't see how I could have single-handedly pulled something so strong (or was it just pseudo strength?) apart. I don't know what to say, to think. I'm gonna keep on ignoring it. But didnt I just acknowlege it?

anyway, thursday was spsd t be fun, but it wasnt really. to all those who I persuaded to come down and were disappointed, I'M SORRY!

the air seems strangely perfumed. hmmm..

I, efficiently and effectively, spent 160 in two days. all that spending has got me scratching my head. where did it all go? I have a suspicion most went to cabfares. I spent at least 50. between casan, zat and I, we cld support the cab economy. yes, we could.

been spending quite some time with rencerence darling. we do sanely spastic things. like racing each other on hotel carpets by skipping the length o it, just t see the visual play it offers. and going up in lifts to see panoramic views of Singapore. The Ocean breeze is salty? hehe[: muchlove.

Trippin' Candies are performing at Bugis fountain at 530. go down if you can.

im not cryptic. just specific;
You, are pulling a F****. and I don't get why.
You, are an egocentric, self centered ass tt needs to be told off. I think I just might do tt.
You, took me by surprise.

if I could find someone I could die for.

lulu skip t e loo

2005-07-12T22:38:00.000+08:00

today was pretty messed up.

finished newswriting at 6. missed my financial test. spilt nailpolish on my coccinelle bag and totally ruined it.
made ethan wait fer such a long time fer me t come t clementi, cos he so nicely postponed his meeting w his friend, just t accompany me t e clinic. [: but he commented on everything abt me (my growing stomach, worsening complexion and rapidly balding bald spot) so i guess we're quits.
went t sch and submitted e newswriting field assignment stupidly forgetting the statement o intergrity AS WELL AS submitting it t Turnitin.
sat at e studio then 48 track then came back home. tskk..

i was mistaken fer pregnant by e doctor and the pharmicist. as ethan says, tt gives a whole new definition of the statement "you look fucked"

which i do. sam says i look like a junkie. the hell.

ok need t go organise logistics fer tickets fer thursday. ooo

AND MY PAY IS COMING. 500 YAYYY

[:

2005-07-10T01:47:00.000+08:00

Risque at Indochine was one of the best parties I've been to. The crowd was amazing, the music good, the company even better. :D so a BIG CONGRATULATIONS goes out t Wyn. And t think tt you were worrying abt it being a flop. Ask me t bring 100 ppl summore. tskk... [:

Friday was a day for First Times. First time I've met Keagan Kang. First time I've taken part in shooting a Live Interview show. First time I've voiced my disappointments with the class politics. First time seeing Ethan in a purely social context (M.A.D capp at SCGS). First party held by Wyn. First time clubbing with Rencerence & Aki. First time meeting Daryl and Michelle (wow!).

LOOK WOT THE PARTY DID:
(rencerence) Swimming in alcohol says: i feel addicted to clubbing
(me) haute : back to bedlam says: I KNOW DAMMIT

Everyone free come down to Zouk on wed aite? Or Cocolatte on thursday. The Cocolatte one is a NP party thing with no age limit. Ash if yer reading this, which i very much doubt, msg t confirm e tickets aite.

:D.
Ad anal-ysis will kill me by e end o tonight

psycho

2005-07-07T00:07:00.000+08:00

its like a pressure cooker when i see you. and i dont think tts gd.

16dollarcabfare. and i still missed e pop test. but anyway, today was a good day. i met and hung w alot o loved people. and it felt comfortable and really gd.found out sth really cool. aeii.. tts cool i say. DEON, tts cool balls.

the reason why im single is cos its too much trouble t keep on thinking abt whether or not ill hurt someone. but it looks like im doing tt more now, than when im tgt. the fuck...
im moodswinging badly. nb.cb.knn.wth.wtf. im rantingraving and this is so OOP(Out Of Point).

REPLIES&DEDICATIONS:

WEIWEI,NYNY,DJYAOYAO,JOPES&WEEWEE> you guys played well! and it wasnt TOTAL OWNAGE, or potatownage, whatever tt is. :D im impressed and awed w yer skills. GOOD JOB.

aki> sleepy. yer not half bad.. hahah well maybe half bad. but it'll be aite. just gotta FEEL. ya noe? FEEEEEL.

sue> hahahaha okay i cut my calves. sigh. the things we do fer getting in w out paying. cheapo pieces o shit r us.

kelv> darling! yes i called dammit. i wna go out w you! i have a mini holiday coming up. pls come out w me. I Miss You.

mich> hahahaha i WAS THERE AND WE MISSED EACH OTHER. wow.. its like turn left turn right or sth. friday, Risque? btw congrats on those amazing grades!

rencerence> yes darling! You have been Quoted. damn i forgot APA format.

wyn> HAHA.. i never took yer link off! hurt by sth tt never was. aeii how am i gna get e tickets from u?

2005-07-06T02:03:00.000+08:00

latelecturewrongdoorsshoesandcarpenter/cobblerfashionlatenessownage.
SIMandmalborosundancesmokeringsandheadachesakirencerencejoelmilfand
danthenonsmokermoris
samkhengnasrekaselfproclaimedfoodfestlecturesandticklepokesunderarms
missionimpossiblezhaotvandruuuunnn
cheercswomenyongyuanzhichinigo--nirockhehexXxtopfraggerheadshotscanteenonebigbowlofsoup
pissingoffyoumsgingyouthinkingabtusyouandyouserioustalkiwasjustwaiting
forthattoomuchtoomuchisnotagoodthingnotatallplasticaciaelegantiahatemeifyoucan
dancelessonsinthecourtyardunderthestarsmoonwalks?dirtyyetnotdancingbendbend16yearsofage15+
tehbingpratalambikilledyouimsorrylambbusrideandcabrideandburpsalongthe
waybrightideafornewswritingyay

mydayinrunningwords.worsethanrunonsentencesaeii.notevengrammatical

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you
-You're Beautiful, James Blunt

mindingmindfullmindless

2005-07-05T01:32:00.000+08:00

http://www.izpitera.ru/lj/tetka.swf
its alotta (sadistic) fun.

Im spsd t be on a diet, but I cant resist e food tt waits in e kitchen. How can I deny my body pleasure? They say the body's a temple. My temple is crying fer food.

Everyone pls go t Risque. Sue and I are trying t get 40 ppl between us and then we act as siamese twins. Cos Wyn said tt ONE person can go in free. I have t chop off my knees or sth t get t her height. OOOPS.. hehe.

Met Wyn fer 3 mins just now. hahahaha her prediction was right abt me complaining abt her hair. Well, I didn't COMPLAIN. It was merely a passing... exclamation of astonishment at the length of it. It still looks nice though.

Feel a lil cheated cos none of us realised that MirrorMask wasnt actually gna show, and it was more o a meet&great session. I know Neil Gaimon fans (like Daryl) wanted t go real bad, and ppl like US who are not fans (actually most o us don't know who he is) just wasted space. However, that being said, it was actually educational, and he really is a very entertaining man. :] $8 didn't go to waste.

hungry, i need to eat. laters.

fuck it?

2005-07-03T16:24:00.000+08:00

And I wish I cld put you out of your misery. But I cant, since I'm the one causing it.

(me)kitsch : we didnt start the fire . but we did ignite it says:
life is so much simpler w out taggled feelings and intricacies o e heart involved
(rencerence)We'll go drinking says:
too bad we're human

I would like to say "Everything will flow". But as you said, not everything will flow.
And then there's You. We might have had another chance if only you had said something earlier. And if only I had said something earlier. Are you still there? Will you always be there, like you said you would be?

The world I love
The tears I drop
To be part of
The wave can't stop
Ever wonder if it's all for you
The world I love
The trains I hop
To be part of
The wave can't stop
Come and tell me when it's time to
-Red Hot Chili Peppers; Cant stop

ADVERTISEMENT:
Risque at Indochine

** the door will open at 10 p.m

Party at Indochine (Wisma: Aquadisiac) on Friday the 8th of July !

*Spinnin' only r&b + top40s. (WYN IS COMING UP WITH THE LIST OF SONGS, SO DON'T TELL ME INDOCHINE PLAYS SO-SO MUSIC!)

Presale tickets going at $18 each. General entry = $20 for ladies, $22 for guys.

Age limit will be 18 for both guys and girls :D

Guaranteed drinks special on that night itself !!!!

Dress Code: Dress To Kill - Risque = Sexy .. Indecent .. yougetwhatimean ;) No slippers thongs bermudas or shorts please !

Message Wyn at 96668355 for tickets asap !

in my life

2005-06-30T22:46:00.000+08:00

There are places I'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

- In My Life; The Beatles

life

2005-06-30T01:57:00.000+08:00

Aki the Toshified: Crucify My love, if it sets me free. says:
how come ur life so stressed one ar
Aki the Toshified: Crucify My love, if it sets me free. says:
how do u cope wif it
kitsch : busrail fingernails says:
haha i cry a bit, whine a bit, scream a bit, then calm down and think things through
kitsch : busrail fingernails says:
normally w e help o rational ppl who listen t me cry, whine and scream

and You. You're breaking my heart. Don't leave me,again.

motion blur

2005-06-25T21:06:00.000+08:00

i realised tt my nails are the same colour as bus rails. my aunt says they look like theyve been puked on. tsk e older generation. dont they know public transport is in?

rainbows

2005-06-25T14:29:00.000+08:00

alot o rainbows in my life.

well today is boo's bday bash at some pubinclarkequayicantremthenameof. sorry kesh! i didnt even rem abt liquid room today. and sorry t kels, grace n lea fer not gg t liquid room yest! and sorry t e guys fer not gg t msia yest. and sorry to you for having to be so brutal, but in any case, it didnt seem to work still. which means continued brutality which i will apologise for now.
its better this way.

hmmm, follow the MASTER aeii joel? not as ham ji as we all suppose. ha tho august had t call u a gay ass b4 u carried tt bag. look me in the eye someday won't you.

the work tt awaits just might make me haemorrage and die. ill burst a vessel, i swear.

The Wind feeds into my Soul. The
Incessant Howling
Bone bared and Nirvanic
Sighs of Sadness
Happy, the Order of the Day?

sue>> its okay my darling. all good things have to pass. and at least his
passing wasnt painful. anytime u want t get another one, ill be glad t get it
fer you aite? and yes, cat-for-hire! I Love You. smile for me aeii.

britney reruns

2005-06-23T17:29:00.000+08:00

oops i did it again.
i played w yer heart.
got lost in the game.
oh babybaby,
oops u think im in love
that im sent from above
im not tt innocent

so i do a joel? or not?

aeii everything will flow?

everything did flow

2005-06-21T00:41:00.000+08:00

Oh, all the promises we made
All the meaningless and empty words
I prayed, prayed, prayed
Oh, all the promises we broke
All the meaningless and empty words
I spoke, spoke, spoke- cranberries

spent a relaxing day (well considering e amt o work i have) doing IS presentation, at e NUS library, at the yatch club and finally at terence's place.

first time i saw a shooting star. maybe its me, maybe its you. maybe its the combination? haha wot dya say aki?

sleepyiestshitintheworld. media reseach paper & media management project one due friday.

i shall try t make this my last night out fer this week. TRY.

The neon lights in the night tonight will say
Everything will flow
The stars that shine in the open sky will say
Everything will flow
The lovers kissed with an openness will say
Everything will flow
The cars parked in the hypermarket know
Everything will flow- suede

wow

2005-06-19T21:59:00.000+08:00

wow, i really am a jinx.

its pretty amazing how i can just screw everything up, even when there seems like there's nothing t go wrong, never fear, ADRI'S here. no one screwer-upper. WOW!

i have the uncanny knack of doing/saying the wrong things at the wrong time.

i can believe my stupidity. seriously, seriously. STUPIDITY.... the fuck maen.

one sentence tt shatters my happy (pseudo perhaps, but oh it felt real) existence.

i knew it was too good to be true. it always is.
imajinximajinximajinximajinximajinximajinximajinximajinximajinxIMAFUCKINGJINX

deep purple dream

2005-06-18T09:31:00.000+08:00

performing at nanyang tonight again. yest's night performance was bad if u looked at wot we presented t e (very mediocre) audience, but hella good if u looked at wot we did before, during and after e show.
we are the LAMEST buncha ppl.and the GREEDIEST. we eat so much, its scary. everywhere we go, we're eating. wot happened t e norm tt dancers DON'T eat? haha... breaking social norms indeed.

MAGICAL SUMMER, muffin impossible, food guarder,"you didnt see anything", silence games,"yer the big sister butterfly" "NO, she's the MOMMA butterfly" :D, "are you a bee?", running into speakers,mixed up hats,sue's fall,missing glasses,kim's fall, pledge to make tongights show better, "i love you all".

im highly amused with all my friends. theyre all veryvery entertaining to be with. loveloveLOVE all of you.

and on a more somber note, if u got tai ji with me, have the balls to come talk t me abt it. i didnt do shit, so dun give me crap. since yer gna pretend tt u didnt say/do anything, im gna keep quiet. uve already dug yerself into a deep enough grave, so i guess tts punishment enough. peace. (or wotever)

the work is gna kill me. im gna kill myself (or my procrastination will).

Before this dance is through,
I think I'll love you too- The Beatles

a design for life

2005-06-10T08:36:00.000+08:00

this is not anyyy fetish
this is my magical fetish
come on the bus and sing with me
magical fetish, play with me

school and what happens after has been good fun. [:

but i need t start sleeping more cos yesterday quite a few ppl (abt 4-6) discussed my eyebags w me. uh huh.. not collectively either. :/
i remember sean telling me i looked much better this term when sch just started. well, tts cos i actually was sleeping. i told him wait a few weeks and see how i look then. YUPS.

well spsd t hit msia again tonight but im apprehensive since i have a truckloada work tt i wna clear fast. and i really need t see my family's faces. theyre starting t get a bit hazzyyyyy. lol.

monday we went t adams road, tuesday ate at far east and caught part o a gig at e youth park and then got into a mini adventure involving a guyhighondrugs, joelthecatalyst, akithejapspeakingoffender and augustthehokkienspewingplacator. wendesday went t a jamming session o e tripping candies (minus ruixin) and thursday was al ameen time. [:

i dont get why there are so many people who will be disturbed by this scene.
i belong but they make me feel like im not spsd t.

I wish I had a bottle
Right here in my pretty face to wear the scars
To show from where I came